A Terrible Catalogue.

ing a highly poisonous alkaloid , called picrotoxin ) , tobacco , grains of Paradise , capsicum , sulphuric acid , ancl cream of tartar ; so that , on the whole , he had better put aside the tankard . When we add that a light custard may conclude the

meal , the powder from which it is often prepared containing turmeric and chromate of lead , we may leave him to digest his luncheon if he cnn .

" As the hours wear on towards dinner he possibly indulges in a cigar . In doing so , strange to say , he will probably be safe . In fact , the time consumed in smoking a Aveed will jirobably be the only " unadulterated " spot in his day . For ,

despite common rumours concerning cabbage leaves and tho like , cigars are rarely adulterated . They may be , ancl often are , very bad tobacco , with refuse leaA'es aud sweepings inside them , but they are ordinarily tobacco of some kind or another .

Nor , by the ivay , do Manillas , as is popularly supposed , contain opium . But supposing a pipe is preferred to a cigar , the adulterator has the smoker on the hip in the case of cut and roll tobacco , which may ancl does often contain leaves of clock

, cabbage , coltsfoot , endive , elm , oak , rhubarb , peat , seaweed , aud potato , which are further improved by liquorice , logwood , treacle , oakum , oatmeal , bran , beetroot ,

dregs , nitre , Glauber and Epsom Salts , potash , lime , Fuller ' s earth , Venetian red , ancl sand . It is just possible that with the Aveed our victim may bethink himself of a " brandy and soda . " The thought is a rash one . Soda Avater , in nine cases out oftencontains no soda at allbut is simpl

, , y water into which carbonic acid gas has been pumped , the said water being primarilyunfit to drink , and from various causes impregnated with lead , copper , tin or zinc . The brandy he puts into the " split soda " he shares with a fellow sufferer is very

often a spirit obtained from either corn , sugar , molasses , beetroot , or potatoes , ivith oak dust and tincture of grape stones to give the taste of old spirit and improved by cherry laurel water and grains of Paradise . And as all the perfumes of

Arabia could not sweeten Lady Macbeth ' s naughty fingers , so no amount of effervescence will ever render " two brandies and a split soda " ivholesome . They ought rather to be termed " two headaches and

a split indigestion . " Nor is the unhappy man any more fortunate if he is a teetotaler , and , forswearing wines , and spirits clings to water . AVater , as we are told on good authority , may contain the materies morbi , the germs of the disease itself . It is commonly polluted with sewage ivater

, decomposing organic matter , is impregnated Avith sewage gas and lead , and is a fertile source of typhoid fei-er , dysentery , and cholera . That being the case , the living organisms revealed in it by the microscope , the merry microzymes and annelida ) may

, be looked upon as trifles light as air , ancl the man would be absurdly particular who would object to swallow the Cyclops qitadricornis , or Lynceus longirostris , or to drink the fluid wherein the Daphnia quadrangula or water-flea roamed at its

own sweet will . " It is time , however , for the warrior who has to face such perils as these to go home to dinner . To dinner ! If he knew

what the words portended he would as soon as order a " small and early funeral , " and notify to his friends that he desired their attendance at his obsequies . The danger lurks , it must be said , not so much in ivhat be eats as in Avhat he imbibes . He

may possibly escape if he only eats the plainest food and does not touch entrees aud dishes with sauces in them . But he may fall a victim to fciuned oysters , to preserved peas , rendered tasteful by copper , to pickles and other similar delicacies , while he may be pleased to hear that his cheese

is likely to contain animal fat , bean meal , Venetian red , ancl sulphate of copper , and arsenic in the rind , while the muchprized mould is a fungus . As to the wines , we have spoken of sherry , and others are no better . Champagne is often

made of the juice of rhubarb , gooseberries , apples , and pears , while port is sophisticated with brown sugar and raw spirit , elderberries , logwood , beetroot , litmus , and rhatany root ; has flavour given to it by sawdust of oak , as containing tannin ,

and bouquet by sweetbriar and laurel water , ivbile it also contains carbonates of soda , potash , and lead . After dinner a cup of coffee is de rigueur , and that is probably worse than anything taken previously , for coffee is adulterated ivith roasted wheat , potato ^ beans , mangel-Avurfczel , acorns , burnt sugar , baked horse