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  • July 1, 1855
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The Masonic Mirror, July 1, 1855: Page 12

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    Article MASONIC REMINISCENCES. ← Page 3 of 5 →
Page 12

Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software.

Masonic Reminiscences.

Phn s father was a good easy man with a large unencumbered estate , and a very satisfactory account ivith his bankers , who solely occupied himself with watching the variations in the money market , and arresting the gout in its progress towards that citadel of his body , the stomach , by the imbibition of unlimited bottles of dry crusted old port , familiarly termed by him black strap .

He saw that the hope of his house ( for lie had but him ) the young Phil , grow apace and flourished , without the aid of the doctors , and beyond this he troubled not his head , but left the sole management of this and all other mundane matters to his wife , in which lady ' s opinion , learning was not only useless , but a bore , and reading a great preventive of digestion ; she further saw how thin and pale the poor curate of the parish

was , who she had heard was a very learned person ( the good lady in her unsophisticated innocence never dreamed ho > v difficult it is to grow fat and sleek upon seventy pounds a year ) and who always threw her into a state of nervous alarm whenever he spoke to Phil about what he was

reading , and when he intended to prepare for College . ^.Phil was by no means an idiot ; there seemed to be no organic want or sensible derangement in the original construction of his mental faculties , indeed the astute people in the neighbourhood attributed his want of sharpness to an over indulgent mother ' s administering too strong doses of a peculiar species of food termed by them " Fapdoodle" and which it is

, supposed has a tendency to counteract the development of the intellectual faculties . The late able and beautiful writer , Mr . Maxwell , defined this food to be what they " feed fools on in Connaught ; " but whether it be moral , intellectual or material , that deponent said not , and we must leave the point to be decided by M . Soyer , or the metaphysicians .

Phil had now reached that very interesting period of life in the feminine calendar , his " teens , " knowing little of this great world beyond what pertained to ponies , poodles , and plum cake , when Simpson Hall was honored by a visit from his maternal uncle , Col . B—w , an officer on half-pay , who had amassed a considerable fortune in India , and who was looked up to ( as it is termed ) by the family , and who intended to make Phil his heir ,

never having had courage to try his own luck in the lottery of wedlock . Col . B . had not seen his nephew for years and was quite pleased with his stout frame , and florid health , but was thrown into a very paroxysm of amazement when that innocent young gentleman put the interrogatory , " Uncle , do all Colonels travel with priests for servants ?" The Colonel stared first at him , then at his mother , then at the father ,

and . at last sternly asked , "What the d—1 does the boy mean ?" Mr . Simpson ; passively said , "I really don't know , better ask his mother , she understands him , I have something else to think of with this horrid gout . " ' . y ; The uncle appealed to her for an explanation . She confessed her inability , but requested her dearest Phil to explain to his uncle , why he had asked the question ; and to beg his pardon , for though she could not- at the moment see it , she was sure there must be something wrong in it to

“The Masonic Mirror: 1855-07-01, Page 12” Masonic Periodicals Online, Library and Museum of Freemasonry, 3 July 2025, django:8000/periodicals/mir/issues/mmg_01071855/page/12/.
  • List
  • Grid
Title Category Page
MARK MASONRY. Article 1
THE GIRLS' SCHOOL. Article 2
FREEMASONRY IN ENGLAND. Article 3
MASONIC REMINISCENCES. Article 10
BROTHERLY LOVE. Article 15
MASONIC INTELLIGENCE. Article 23
PROVINCIAL LODGES. Article 29
ROYAL ARCH. Article 51
THE COLONIES. Article 52
CORRESPONDENCE. Article 53
SUMMARY OF NEWS FOR JUNE. Article 55
OBITUARY. Article 58
TO CORRESPONDENTS. Article 59
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Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software.

Masonic Reminiscences.

Phn s father was a good easy man with a large unencumbered estate , and a very satisfactory account ivith his bankers , who solely occupied himself with watching the variations in the money market , and arresting the gout in its progress towards that citadel of his body , the stomach , by the imbibition of unlimited bottles of dry crusted old port , familiarly termed by him black strap .

He saw that the hope of his house ( for lie had but him ) the young Phil , grow apace and flourished , without the aid of the doctors , and beyond this he troubled not his head , but left the sole management of this and all other mundane matters to his wife , in which lady ' s opinion , learning was not only useless , but a bore , and reading a great preventive of digestion ; she further saw how thin and pale the poor curate of the parish

was , who she had heard was a very learned person ( the good lady in her unsophisticated innocence never dreamed ho > v difficult it is to grow fat and sleek upon seventy pounds a year ) and who always threw her into a state of nervous alarm whenever he spoke to Phil about what he was

reading , and when he intended to prepare for College . ^.Phil was by no means an idiot ; there seemed to be no organic want or sensible derangement in the original construction of his mental faculties , indeed the astute people in the neighbourhood attributed his want of sharpness to an over indulgent mother ' s administering too strong doses of a peculiar species of food termed by them " Fapdoodle" and which it is

, supposed has a tendency to counteract the development of the intellectual faculties . The late able and beautiful writer , Mr . Maxwell , defined this food to be what they " feed fools on in Connaught ; " but whether it be moral , intellectual or material , that deponent said not , and we must leave the point to be decided by M . Soyer , or the metaphysicians .

Phil had now reached that very interesting period of life in the feminine calendar , his " teens , " knowing little of this great world beyond what pertained to ponies , poodles , and plum cake , when Simpson Hall was honored by a visit from his maternal uncle , Col . B—w , an officer on half-pay , who had amassed a considerable fortune in India , and who was looked up to ( as it is termed ) by the family , and who intended to make Phil his heir ,

never having had courage to try his own luck in the lottery of wedlock . Col . B . had not seen his nephew for years and was quite pleased with his stout frame , and florid health , but was thrown into a very paroxysm of amazement when that innocent young gentleman put the interrogatory , " Uncle , do all Colonels travel with priests for servants ?" The Colonel stared first at him , then at his mother , then at the father ,

and . at last sternly asked , "What the d—1 does the boy mean ?" Mr . Simpson ; passively said , "I really don't know , better ask his mother , she understands him , I have something else to think of with this horrid gout . " ' . y ; The uncle appealed to her for an explanation . She confessed her inability , but requested her dearest Phil to explain to his uncle , why he had asked the question ; and to beg his pardon , for though she could not- at the moment see it , she was sure there must be something wrong in it to

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