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Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software.
" Old Pyramid's" Christmas Day In The Drsert.
his bands be conld best gratify his wishes . When bis apprenticeship was ended ho invited bis fellow apprentices aud one or two of the leading hands to a supper , and then bade us farewell . I lost sight of him for three or four years , and onr acqniantanceship was renewed in a peculiar manner . About two years ago I was sent out to superintend
tbe erection of some new engines at a flour mill in Cairo which had been made by onr firm , and as most of the work was on board the steamer " Osiris , " it was arranged that 1 should also go out in her . Wo left Liverpool docks one morning soon after daybreak , and as there was only one other passenger on board I bad made up my mind for a dull and monotonous
voyage . As we were steaming along tho Welsh coast , at which 1 was looking , leaning on tho bulwarks , I got a smart rap between the shoulders accompanied by a hearty "Hilloa , old man ; you on board ? " Antl on turning round there was a big , laughing , smoke-besmeared face iu close proximity to my own , and to my surprise found
that it , belonged to Harry Denbigh . I was almost dragged along the deck into his snug cabin , on the door of which was engraved " Second Engineer . " There I learnt that soon after he left ns he obtained a situation as third , and had passed his examination as second , engineer , in which capacity ho was then employed . An introduction to the chief ( Mr . Ellis ) , also to the third
( Mr . Jones ) followed ; antl many a pipe did I smoke and pleasant hour spend in that cabin in company with my friends , so that the voyage seemed to pass away in half the time I expected . Ou arrival at Alexandria , and after seeing to tbo landing of our packages of machinery ( antl yon knowthat is no easy matter ) , I parted from my friends ,
promising to seo them on their return voyage . In a week or two I had settled down to my new job ; we had a " portable" driving a small portion of tbo mill , and I hud threo Englishmen , including tho man who was in charge of tho portable , and a dragoman to assist me . At times I found the climate so oppressive that I had aerious thoughts of giving up my appointment antl
returning home , and once or twice I had hinted this to my mates ; however , I stuck to it , aud got more used to the heat . Ono morning as I was entering the building 1 fancied I heard a loud crash , and then a groan , coming from the engine shed ; I was making tho best of my way towards the door when a figure with blood streaming
from a wound in its head passed so rapidly by me that it was lost to sight in a moment . I ran into the shed , expecting to see further devastation , but Williams ( the fireman ) was quietly raking out his lire and whistling as gaily as a young lark . As soon as I could steady myself a hit I asked Williams what accident had happened ; he looked up and stared at me in astonishment ,
"Accident , said ho ; where , and what is it r " Why , " said I , " surely you must have heard the smash , and seen the wonnded man . " lie still seemed at a loss to understand my meaning . I said iu a kind of side voice , " Where can the man have come from , and what was the noise ?" Williams walketl away and brought hack Morris ( a
fitter ) . As they came along 1 could hear them talking about sun-stroke ; and Morris saitl " I thought it would endintlr . it ; " then I heard him say something about " doctor , " and saw Williams walk quickly away . Morris came up to me , and in his kind manner wanted to take me back to my lodgings , but I steadfastly refused . I hatl some dilliculty in persuading him that I
was in my sonnd senses . Very soon afterwartls Williams anil the doctor arrived . The latter soon convinced my mates that I was all right , and with the aitl of a little brandy which he brought with him I was enabled to resume my usual duties , though I felt a little nervous for a tlay or two . 1 made an entry of the exact time of the occurrence in mv dinrv . About
a month afterwartls 1 got a letter from our hrm stating that the remainder of the work woultl be sent out in the "Osiris , " and instructing me to go to Alexandria to seo to the landing . 1 was glatl of this , as 1 thought the change as well as the pleasure of meeting my friends would serve to restore mo to my usual health
and spirits . I wrote to the agents to let me know when the steamer was expectetl to arrive , and 1 got an answer to say that she was expected in a few days . I thenfore left Morris in charge of thc job , antl started off to Alexandria . I called on the agent antl left my address , so that ho could let me know as soon as the steamer
was signalled ; tlie next morning I got a note to say that she was off the llas-el-teen lighthouse , anil I made the best of my way to the Marina , got a boat , antl waited in the harbour until she cast anchor ; when she was safely moored I was pulled alongside , antl was about the first to step up the companion ladder . No sooner had I reached the deck than my friend Mr .
Kllis ( the chief ) approached me , ane' 1 could see nt once from the expression on his face that he hail some hail news to communicate . With some hesitation he told me that on the homeward voyage , about two days from port , they had a fearfnl storm . Usury was on duty in the engine-room , the steamer waa labouring heavily , iintl there was a great strain upon the engines in conxeqncnco ; a heavy sea struck her , whicli caused the i
ngines to stop for a moment , and with a j 11111 ]) run away again ; he ( Mr . Ellis ) was standing near the sky"ght , and on hearing a loud cry looked down into the 'ooni just in time to see Harry shot down as though with , 1 ballet . He hastened below with two others , •«itl found that a strong iron bolt in . 1 connecting rod tad broken , one part of which was flung with great orce , striking poor Harry on the head , and in less man live minutes his lifeless body was carried ou deck .
" Old Pyramid's" Christmas Day In The Drsert.
1 asked Mr . Ellis to give me the exact time this occurred ; he brought the log-book and at my request worked out the Egyptian time . I compared it with my diary , and fountl that it corresponded to a minute to the time I saw the apparition .
Tho recital of this yarn cast a damper upon us , aud Foster volunteered to spin us one which , as he said , was of a more lively description . When our pipes wero refilled , aud the beverage passed round , we were ready
for—FOSTER ' YARN . To make my story intelligible , I shall have to refer to some events iu the early part of my father's life . As you know , be is a spinner and manufacturer in Lancashire , and I am out here selecting cotton for him . He began life in what is called a small way of business , and by steady perseverance has become one of the largest
spinners in the town of Smokeborough , of whicli placo he was thrice elected mayor , and is now a most respected J . P . and alderman . When quite a young man he went to visit some friends in Warwickshire , where he became acquainted with a young lady , who afterwards became his wife and my mother . Her elder sister , Lauua , was married to a London merchant ( Mr .
Wallace ) , who was possessed of a large fortune , whicli in some measure compensated for tho want of a long family pedigree , of which his wife and her parents were so proud of possessing ; and , although far from wealthy themselves , were for ever boasting of the positions held by their ancestors at Court , and their connection with the leading county families . Tho announcement
of my mother s intended marriage caused strong protestations to be sent from the rich merchant ' s family , and their influence was brought to bear upon her parents , who joined in their protests against what they called an improvident alliance , but my mother was determined to follow her own inclinations , antl married my father in the face of the opposition . Consequently ,
an estrangement followed , anil we heard nothing from our rich relations for some years , excepting tho largo black-edged envelopes which arrived at different times announcing tho deaths of my grandparents , anil a short letter from tho family lawyer convoying the intelligence that my mother ' s small fortune had been suitably invested , iu the names of trustees , with other legal
information appertaining thereto . Ono morning , about four years since , the London papers contained tho intelligence that the old -established firm of Wallace antl Joyce had . failed , with liabilities amounting to many thousands . Tho catastrophe was said to be brought about by the reckless speculations of the junior partner , uuknown to the senior , who was
acquitted of all complicity anil blame , and for whom much sympathy was felt . Nevertheless , he was utterly rained . The Holgravian establishment had to bo given up , carriages and horses sold , and the largo army of servants dismissed . A small villa at St . John ' * Wood had to suffice , aud the family wero compelled to live upon the small income derivetl from the wife ' s marriage settlements . I forgot to mention that there
were two daughters , named Katie and Laura , after my aunt and my mother . So much did Mr . Wallace feel his altered position , and the ruin brought upon many families who wore connected with tho firm and sustained heavy losses thereby-, that he did not survive the shock many months , falling a victim to an attack of heart disease , leaving his widow and fatherless daughters to battle with the world .
On receipt of the intelligence of his death , my mother , at my father ' s request , wrote to her sister , offering her every assistance in hor power . This letter opened up the old sisterly feeling whicli had lain dormnntso many years , and resulted in the acceptance of an invitation for lhe eltlest daughter , Katie , to pay us a visit . 1 shall never forget tlie day of her arrival . My mother
was so overjoyed , anil the governor seemed as though ho would never cease caressing the now arrival , while she appeared almost bewildered with her reception , and , as sho told me afterwards , so astonished at the st ylo in which wc lived , as she had always been led to believe everything waa so different . Her presence seemed to infuse a now life into our quiet homo , for you know I
am an only child ; hor light , buoyant spirits and cheerful presence acted like a gootl genius . The oltl postman used to bring small bundles of letters for her two or three mornings a week . I used to watch how carefully she selected 0110 bearing a bold , though somewhat sprawling address , and placed it asitlo for perusal when alone . After a fair amount of teasing , I ascertained
that theso missives were from a Dragoon Captain , who . through all hor reverses in fortune , still remained faithful to a pledge given when she was living iu the maze of glittering Holgravian splendour . Ono evening our regiment , for you must know I hold a lieutenant ' s commission in our local volunteers , gave an entertainment in the drill-shed , antl I had to make
up for , and sustain the character of , " Young Abo , " somothingof the "Ab o' the Yato" type . My impersonation of tho character was considered tho best part of the entertainment , and I was duly applauded and complimented . On walking homo with Katio sho kept up 11 continual giggle , with evory now and then a hearty burst of laughter , so that I thought , in her eyes , at least ,
my performance was not a success . I felt somewhat chagrined , antl asked , in rather 11 cool tone , the cause of her mirth . " Well , " said she , " if you promise not to bo offended , I don ' t mind telling you . During our prosperous days , and , iu fact , notwithstanding my many assurances to the contrary , I think it is so at home , oven now , wo used to picture you as being just the character
" Old Pyramid's" Christmas Day In The Drsert.
yon have been representing to-night . Now , an idea bas got into my head thafc ifc would bo a capital joke to punish them for their misconception of yourself . Bufc you will have to bo the principal actor . " I expressed my readiness to do anything in my power fco remove such a wrong impression from the minds of my relatives , and Katio at onco commenced to expound hor wonderful
idea . " You know , " said she , " that I am going home on Monday to get ready for a grand garden party , for Captain Douglas ( the captain ) has obtained invitations for mamma , Laura , and myself . I intend to get one for you also ; then you must manage to present yourself at our home exactly in tbe character you havo sustained to-night . Of course , I shall have to let the captain into
our secret , as , without his assistance , I do nofc think we could work out our plan . " Tho idea seemed to promise some good fmi , and 1 readily consented . On the following Monday Katie left us , and on the Wednesday I received au intimation that my card of invitation had been promised , and that Charley—so she now called tho captain—was in ecstacies about the joke ,
as they had managed to create iii Laura ' s mind a picture of her country cousin as be was about to appear . On the following Tuesday I went up to town , taking with me " Young Abe ' s " rig out . and on the following morning , after transacting some business for the governor iu the city , returned to my hotel , got my
portmanteau and hat-box , aud chartered a four-wheeler , which I managed to darken , aud during tho drive donned " Young Abe ' s" inake-up over my own , with the wig of red hair and unkempt beard and whiskers . So greafc was the change in my appearance when I got out of the cab that the driver seemed at a loss to make
ifc out , notwithstanding my- paying him nearly- double fare , and assuring him that it was all right . 1 could see faces at fche window as I trudged up the small garden , and when I pulled tho bell , antl sent in my card by the smart maiden who answered my summons . . I could hear something like a dispute going on in tho drawing room . However , Katie came to me in
the entrance hall , and with a significant nod satisfied me that it was all right . 1 rushed up to her with , " Well , lass ; I ' m reet glad to see theo ; and how's th ' mother and rest on ' em ? " " Quito well , " said Katie ; " Como in , cousin Fred . We aro all glad to seo you , " and into the drawing-room I wont . There sat Aunt Laura as stiff as buckram , also cousin Laura , looking
glum and out of temper ; then the captain , a , fine fellow , was standing near the window pulling his long moustache to keep down his laughter , and little Stubbings , of the Civil Service ( un admirer of Laura's ) , was sitting on an ottoman sucking away nt the end of his cane . Up I marched to the old lady , and when she held out her hand I gave it a regular clutch , which
sent the colour up to her cheeks ; and making a bow and scrape , country fashion , with ono hand tugging at my wig , I commenced with— " I'm gradely pleased to seo theo lookin' so wcol and hearty ; tbou'st uncommon loiko that ere mother o' mine . " Then turning to cousin Laura with , " An thou ' st cousin Laura , eh ? Wcel , and thou ' st nowt so much unlike th' sister , on ' y
thee he ' est a bit sprightlier like ; bnt I da ' say thou'lt make a good wife for somo chap some day or t'other . " Katio was too much disgusted to make any answer , so 1 made for young Stubbings . " Why , young Jack ' napes , nnd dos't tha like suckin' that stick as weel as lollipops ? thou ' st on ' y just left off schulin ' , I reckon , and cannot forgot the pennies thou ' st spent in them sweet things ?"
Stubbings gave a short grunt and looked daggers . In approaching the Captain I was almost thrown off my guard , he looked so comically over his big moustache . " Well , " said I , " my noblo brother-in-arras , I think thou looks a likely chap for a sojor ' . I reckon thou'lt make it warm for a follow as stood up wi' thee . " At this Katie seemed unable to contain hor laughter
longer , and broke up our introductory meeting by callingout , " Now , cousin Fred , it is time for you to get ready . Como along , I'll show you the way to yonr room . " As we left the drawing-room I could overhear my aunt saying , " How unfortunate . " Aud Laura , in au angry voice , " 1 certainly will not go with such a buffoon ; it is reall y too bad of Katio to bring such
a booby . Stubbings chimed in with' " wewy pwowincialj" while tho Captain laughed out most heartily . It had been arranged that aunt , with Laura and Stubbings should go in the Captain ' s brougham , and that Katie , the Captain , and myself should follow in another conveyance , and whilst I was divesting
myself of Young Abe ' s make-up I heard wheels approach anil tho three former depart . When I came down stairs in propria pernnnw , and was properly introduced to the Captain , we drove off without delay , having great fun onthe way over tho joke . Wo arrived at Kensington by a short cut , before tho others , and presented our cart ex and gained admission to the princely
mansion and grounds . The first people 1 saw were tho colonel of my regiment with a military lord , to whom 1 was introduced , and I in return introduced the Captain and Katio . Presently up caino thc other division of our little party , and I could hear Laura ( who knew bis lordship by sight ) asking who the tall dark gentleman was . " 1 mean theyoungfellow !" said she . Katieovaded a reply , and 1 inarched up with the Captain , and joined
in the conversation . After a few minutes my Aunt asked the Captain to introduce his friend . " Why , " said he , " surely yon know your nephew , Fred Foster ! " The old lady seemed iliinifoiinded . At last she stammered out , "Then who was the impostor this morning ? " And Laura suggested that they had better go back to look after tho spoons and forks . " There is no occasion to alarm yourself on that score , " said 1 , " for I must plead guilty to being the
Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software.
" Old Pyramid's" Christmas Day In The Drsert.
his bands be conld best gratify his wishes . When bis apprenticeship was ended ho invited bis fellow apprentices aud one or two of the leading hands to a supper , and then bade us farewell . I lost sight of him for three or four years , and onr acqniantanceship was renewed in a peculiar manner . About two years ago I was sent out to superintend
tbe erection of some new engines at a flour mill in Cairo which had been made by onr firm , and as most of the work was on board the steamer " Osiris , " it was arranged that 1 should also go out in her . Wo left Liverpool docks one morning soon after daybreak , and as there was only one other passenger on board I bad made up my mind for a dull and monotonous
voyage . As we were steaming along tho Welsh coast , at which 1 was looking , leaning on tho bulwarks , I got a smart rap between the shoulders accompanied by a hearty "Hilloa , old man ; you on board ? " Antl on turning round there was a big , laughing , smoke-besmeared face iu close proximity to my own , and to my surprise found
that it , belonged to Harry Denbigh . I was almost dragged along the deck into his snug cabin , on the door of which was engraved " Second Engineer . " There I learnt that soon after he left ns he obtained a situation as third , and had passed his examination as second , engineer , in which capacity ho was then employed . An introduction to the chief ( Mr . Ellis ) , also to the third
( Mr . Jones ) followed ; antl many a pipe did I smoke and pleasant hour spend in that cabin in company with my friends , so that the voyage seemed to pass away in half the time I expected . Ou arrival at Alexandria , and after seeing to tbo landing of our packages of machinery ( antl yon knowthat is no easy matter ) , I parted from my friends ,
promising to seo them on their return voyage . In a week or two I had settled down to my new job ; we had a " portable" driving a small portion of tbo mill , and I hud threo Englishmen , including tho man who was in charge of tho portable , and a dragoman to assist me . At times I found the climate so oppressive that I had aerious thoughts of giving up my appointment antl
returning home , and once or twice I had hinted this to my mates ; however , I stuck to it , aud got more used to the heat . Ono morning as I was entering the building 1 fancied I heard a loud crash , and then a groan , coming from the engine shed ; I was making tho best of my way towards the door when a figure with blood streaming
from a wound in its head passed so rapidly by me that it was lost to sight in a moment . I ran into the shed , expecting to see further devastation , but Williams ( the fireman ) was quietly raking out his lire and whistling as gaily as a young lark . As soon as I could steady myself a hit I asked Williams what accident had happened ; he looked up and stared at me in astonishment ,
"Accident , said ho ; where , and what is it r " Why , " said I , " surely you must have heard the smash , and seen the wonnded man . " lie still seemed at a loss to understand my meaning . I said iu a kind of side voice , " Where can the man have come from , and what was the noise ?" Williams walketl away and brought hack Morris ( a
fitter ) . As they came along 1 could hear them talking about sun-stroke ; and Morris saitl " I thought it would endintlr . it ; " then I heard him say something about " doctor , " and saw Williams walk quickly away . Morris came up to me , and in his kind manner wanted to take me back to my lodgings , but I steadfastly refused . I hatl some dilliculty in persuading him that I
was in my sonnd senses . Very soon afterwartls Williams anil the doctor arrived . The latter soon convinced my mates that I was all right , and with the aitl of a little brandy which he brought with him I was enabled to resume my usual duties , though I felt a little nervous for a tlay or two . 1 made an entry of the exact time of the occurrence in mv dinrv . About
a month afterwartls 1 got a letter from our hrm stating that the remainder of the work woultl be sent out in the "Osiris , " and instructing me to go to Alexandria to seo to the landing . 1 was glatl of this , as 1 thought the change as well as the pleasure of meeting my friends would serve to restore mo to my usual health
and spirits . I wrote to the agents to let me know when the steamer was expectetl to arrive , and 1 got an answer to say that she was expected in a few days . I thenfore left Morris in charge of thc job , antl started off to Alexandria . I called on the agent antl left my address , so that ho could let me know as soon as the steamer
was signalled ; tlie next morning I got a note to say that she was off the llas-el-teen lighthouse , anil I made the best of my way to the Marina , got a boat , antl waited in the harbour until she cast anchor ; when she was safely moored I was pulled alongside , antl was about the first to step up the companion ladder . No sooner had I reached the deck than my friend Mr .
Kllis ( the chief ) approached me , ane' 1 could see nt once from the expression on his face that he hail some hail news to communicate . With some hesitation he told me that on the homeward voyage , about two days from port , they had a fearfnl storm . Usury was on duty in the engine-room , the steamer waa labouring heavily , iintl there was a great strain upon the engines in conxeqncnco ; a heavy sea struck her , whicli caused the i
ngines to stop for a moment , and with a j 11111 ]) run away again ; he ( Mr . Ellis ) was standing near the sky"ght , and on hearing a loud cry looked down into the 'ooni just in time to see Harry shot down as though with , 1 ballet . He hastened below with two others , •«itl found that a strong iron bolt in . 1 connecting rod tad broken , one part of which was flung with great orce , striking poor Harry on the head , and in less man live minutes his lifeless body was carried ou deck .
" Old Pyramid's" Christmas Day In The Drsert.
1 asked Mr . Ellis to give me the exact time this occurred ; he brought the log-book and at my request worked out the Egyptian time . I compared it with my diary , and fountl that it corresponded to a minute to the time I saw the apparition .
Tho recital of this yarn cast a damper upon us , aud Foster volunteered to spin us one which , as he said , was of a more lively description . When our pipes wero refilled , aud the beverage passed round , we were ready
for—FOSTER ' YARN . To make my story intelligible , I shall have to refer to some events iu the early part of my father's life . As you know , be is a spinner and manufacturer in Lancashire , and I am out here selecting cotton for him . He began life in what is called a small way of business , and by steady perseverance has become one of the largest
spinners in the town of Smokeborough , of whicli placo he was thrice elected mayor , and is now a most respected J . P . and alderman . When quite a young man he went to visit some friends in Warwickshire , where he became acquainted with a young lady , who afterwards became his wife and my mother . Her elder sister , Lauua , was married to a London merchant ( Mr .
Wallace ) , who was possessed of a large fortune , whicli in some measure compensated for tho want of a long family pedigree , of which his wife and her parents were so proud of possessing ; and , although far from wealthy themselves , were for ever boasting of the positions held by their ancestors at Court , and their connection with the leading county families . Tho announcement
of my mother s intended marriage caused strong protestations to be sent from the rich merchant ' s family , and their influence was brought to bear upon her parents , who joined in their protests against what they called an improvident alliance , but my mother was determined to follow her own inclinations , antl married my father in the face of the opposition . Consequently ,
an estrangement followed , anil we heard nothing from our rich relations for some years , excepting tho largo black-edged envelopes which arrived at different times announcing tho deaths of my grandparents , anil a short letter from tho family lawyer convoying the intelligence that my mother ' s small fortune had been suitably invested , iu the names of trustees , with other legal
information appertaining thereto . Ono morning , about four years since , the London papers contained tho intelligence that the old -established firm of Wallace antl Joyce had . failed , with liabilities amounting to many thousands . Tho catastrophe was said to be brought about by the reckless speculations of the junior partner , uuknown to the senior , who was
acquitted of all complicity anil blame , and for whom much sympathy was felt . Nevertheless , he was utterly rained . The Holgravian establishment had to bo given up , carriages and horses sold , and the largo army of servants dismissed . A small villa at St . John ' * Wood had to suffice , aud the family wero compelled to live upon the small income derivetl from the wife ' s marriage settlements . I forgot to mention that there
were two daughters , named Katie and Laura , after my aunt and my mother . So much did Mr . Wallace feel his altered position , and the ruin brought upon many families who wore connected with tho firm and sustained heavy losses thereby-, that he did not survive the shock many months , falling a victim to an attack of heart disease , leaving his widow and fatherless daughters to battle with the world .
On receipt of the intelligence of his death , my mother , at my father ' s request , wrote to her sister , offering her every assistance in hor power . This letter opened up the old sisterly feeling whicli had lain dormnntso many years , and resulted in the acceptance of an invitation for lhe eltlest daughter , Katie , to pay us a visit . 1 shall never forget tlie day of her arrival . My mother
was so overjoyed , anil the governor seemed as though ho would never cease caressing the now arrival , while she appeared almost bewildered with her reception , and , as sho told me afterwards , so astonished at the st ylo in which wc lived , as she had always been led to believe everything waa so different . Her presence seemed to infuse a now life into our quiet homo , for you know I
am an only child ; hor light , buoyant spirits and cheerful presence acted like a gootl genius . The oltl postman used to bring small bundles of letters for her two or three mornings a week . I used to watch how carefully she selected 0110 bearing a bold , though somewhat sprawling address , and placed it asitlo for perusal when alone . After a fair amount of teasing , I ascertained
that theso missives were from a Dragoon Captain , who . through all hor reverses in fortune , still remained faithful to a pledge given when she was living iu the maze of glittering Holgravian splendour . Ono evening our regiment , for you must know I hold a lieutenant ' s commission in our local volunteers , gave an entertainment in the drill-shed , antl I had to make
up for , and sustain the character of , " Young Abo , " somothingof the "Ab o' the Yato" type . My impersonation of tho character was considered tho best part of the entertainment , and I was duly applauded and complimented . On walking homo with Katio sho kept up 11 continual giggle , with evory now and then a hearty burst of laughter , so that I thought , in her eyes , at least ,
my performance was not a success . I felt somewhat chagrined , antl asked , in rather 11 cool tone , the cause of her mirth . " Well , " said she , " if you promise not to bo offended , I don ' t mind telling you . During our prosperous days , and , iu fact , notwithstanding my many assurances to the contrary , I think it is so at home , oven now , wo used to picture you as being just the character
" Old Pyramid's" Christmas Day In The Drsert.
yon have been representing to-night . Now , an idea bas got into my head thafc ifc would bo a capital joke to punish them for their misconception of yourself . Bufc you will have to bo the principal actor . " I expressed my readiness to do anything in my power fco remove such a wrong impression from the minds of my relatives , and Katio at onco commenced to expound hor wonderful
idea . " You know , " said she , " that I am going home on Monday to get ready for a grand garden party , for Captain Douglas ( the captain ) has obtained invitations for mamma , Laura , and myself . I intend to get one for you also ; then you must manage to present yourself at our home exactly in tbe character you havo sustained to-night . Of course , I shall have to let the captain into
our secret , as , without his assistance , I do nofc think we could work out our plan . " Tho idea seemed to promise some good fmi , and 1 readily consented . On the following Monday Katie left us , and on the Wednesday I received au intimation that my card of invitation had been promised , and that Charley—so she now called tho captain—was in ecstacies about the joke ,
as they had managed to create iii Laura ' s mind a picture of her country cousin as be was about to appear . On the following Tuesday I went up to town , taking with me " Young Abe ' s " rig out . and on the following morning , after transacting some business for the governor iu the city , returned to my hotel , got my
portmanteau and hat-box , aud chartered a four-wheeler , which I managed to darken , aud during tho drive donned " Young Abe ' s" inake-up over my own , with the wig of red hair and unkempt beard and whiskers . So greafc was the change in my appearance when I got out of the cab that the driver seemed at a loss to make
ifc out , notwithstanding my- paying him nearly- double fare , and assuring him that it was all right . 1 could see faces at fche window as I trudged up the small garden , and when I pulled tho bell , antl sent in my card by the smart maiden who answered my summons . . I could hear something like a dispute going on in tho drawing room . However , Katie came to me in
the entrance hall , and with a significant nod satisfied me that it was all right . 1 rushed up to her with , " Well , lass ; I ' m reet glad to see theo ; and how's th ' mother and rest on ' em ? " " Quito well , " said Katie ; " Como in , cousin Fred . We aro all glad to seo you , " and into the drawing-room I wont . There sat Aunt Laura as stiff as buckram , also cousin Laura , looking
glum and out of temper ; then the captain , a , fine fellow , was standing near the window pulling his long moustache to keep down his laughter , and little Stubbings , of the Civil Service ( un admirer of Laura's ) , was sitting on an ottoman sucking away nt the end of his cane . Up I marched to the old lady , and when she held out her hand I gave it a regular clutch , which
sent the colour up to her cheeks ; and making a bow and scrape , country fashion , with ono hand tugging at my wig , I commenced with— " I'm gradely pleased to seo theo lookin' so wcol and hearty ; tbou'st uncommon loiko that ere mother o' mine . " Then turning to cousin Laura with , " An thou ' st cousin Laura , eh ? Wcel , and thou ' st nowt so much unlike th' sister , on ' y
thee he ' est a bit sprightlier like ; bnt I da ' say thou'lt make a good wife for somo chap some day or t'other . " Katio was too much disgusted to make any answer , so 1 made for young Stubbings . " Why , young Jack ' napes , nnd dos't tha like suckin' that stick as weel as lollipops ? thou ' st on ' y just left off schulin ' , I reckon , and cannot forgot the pennies thou ' st spent in them sweet things ?"
Stubbings gave a short grunt and looked daggers . In approaching the Captain I was almost thrown off my guard , he looked so comically over his big moustache . " Well , " said I , " my noblo brother-in-arras , I think thou looks a likely chap for a sojor ' . I reckon thou'lt make it warm for a follow as stood up wi' thee . " At this Katie seemed unable to contain hor laughter
longer , and broke up our introductory meeting by callingout , " Now , cousin Fred , it is time for you to get ready . Como along , I'll show you the way to yonr room . " As we left the drawing-room I could overhear my aunt saying , " How unfortunate . " Aud Laura , in au angry voice , " 1 certainly will not go with such a buffoon ; it is reall y too bad of Katio to bring such
a booby . Stubbings chimed in with' " wewy pwowincialj" while tho Captain laughed out most heartily . It had been arranged that aunt , with Laura and Stubbings should go in the Captain ' s brougham , and that Katie , the Captain , and myself should follow in another conveyance , and whilst I was divesting
myself of Young Abe ' s make-up I heard wheels approach anil tho three former depart . When I came down stairs in propria pernnnw , and was properly introduced to the Captain , we drove off without delay , having great fun onthe way over tho joke . Wo arrived at Kensington by a short cut , before tho others , and presented our cart ex and gained admission to the princely
mansion and grounds . The first people 1 saw were tho colonel of my regiment with a military lord , to whom 1 was introduced , and I in return introduced the Captain and Katio . Presently up caino thc other division of our little party , and I could hear Laura ( who knew bis lordship by sight ) asking who the tall dark gentleman was . " 1 mean theyoungfellow !" said she . Katieovaded a reply , and 1 inarched up with the Captain , and joined
in the conversation . After a few minutes my Aunt asked the Captain to introduce his friend . " Why , " said he , " surely yon know your nephew , Fred Foster ! " The old lady seemed iliinifoiinded . At last she stammered out , "Then who was the impostor this morning ? " And Laura suggested that they had better go back to look after tho spoons and forks . " There is no occasion to alarm yourself on that score , " said 1 , " for I must plead guilty to being the