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Article THE GRAND COCKED HAT. ← Page 2 of 2 Article INITIATION OF A LADY. Page 1 of 2 →
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The Grand Cocked Hat.
retirement , my successor had utterly failed in keeping up the dignity and importance hitherto attached to my character ; it was determined , therefore , to bring me out again . My caput at length appeared , and I was all submission . "Eh!—what ! " said he to me ; " why , how you ' re altered ! You ' re not half a cocked hat ! I ' m afraid you will not perform your customarv dignity . "
With that I was clapped on the head ; but , goodness ! Mr . Editor , what a change ! I soon discovered , instead of the hearty good-nature that I used to enjoy , I had now to conceal a variety of crotchets that betokened disquiet . However , I managed to keep matters pretty well , until we—that is , I and my caput- —had kept company for about an hour , having only been once lifted partially , during a short prayer uttered in ( to me ) the well-known voice of a reverend Brother .
I was uncommonly uneasy for some time , and expected frequently to fall off , owing to the complicated thoughts that were going" on beneath ; but gracious me , Mr . Editor ! I knew when you were in cogitation ; for I was lifted up and down like an old wheelbarrow upon stonesjirk after jirk shook me so , that I sighed for very pain ; for the caput actually enlarged , and threatened to burst me inside out . Think of this , and pity my sufferings , which were all owing to you ; for I have
followed your example , and have offered an Asylum to the Aged ; but I have not , like you , received their thanks . All I can hope for is , not to have my retirement again invaded ; and that , if I must be made useful , I may be treated with some show of kindness . Pray show some mercy for my sake , or you'll be the death of Your old friend , GRAND COCKED HAT .
Since writing the above , the intelligence of the decease of my illustrious caput reached me , and of course I expected to be borne as a prominent feature of heraldic display on the bier ; but alas ! I am alone in my loneliness . Yet no . I have reason to apprehend that certain troublesome moths may disturb my rest . Send me a little of your pepper , wrapped up in some odd sheets of your Review , just to keep them in order in my little box . I have often observed the effect of your pages on the olfactories of things of larger growth . Do this , and I may send you a scrap 01 two worth having .
Initiation Of A Lady.
INITIATION OF A LADY .
THE lady of General Faintraille having adopted the military uniform , served as adjutant to her husband ; she had distinguished herself by several heroic deeds of arms , but so particularly by her kindness and liberality to mankind in general , that the first Consul - presented her with a commission as Captain of Cavalry , should she feel disposed to continue in the profession of her choice . The Lodge of " Freres Artistes , " of which many military officers
Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software.
The Grand Cocked Hat.
retirement , my successor had utterly failed in keeping up the dignity and importance hitherto attached to my character ; it was determined , therefore , to bring me out again . My caput at length appeared , and I was all submission . "Eh!—what ! " said he to me ; " why , how you ' re altered ! You ' re not half a cocked hat ! I ' m afraid you will not perform your customarv dignity . "
With that I was clapped on the head ; but , goodness ! Mr . Editor , what a change ! I soon discovered , instead of the hearty good-nature that I used to enjoy , I had now to conceal a variety of crotchets that betokened disquiet . However , I managed to keep matters pretty well , until we—that is , I and my caput- —had kept company for about an hour , having only been once lifted partially , during a short prayer uttered in ( to me ) the well-known voice of a reverend Brother .
I was uncommonly uneasy for some time , and expected frequently to fall off , owing to the complicated thoughts that were going" on beneath ; but gracious me , Mr . Editor ! I knew when you were in cogitation ; for I was lifted up and down like an old wheelbarrow upon stonesjirk after jirk shook me so , that I sighed for very pain ; for the caput actually enlarged , and threatened to burst me inside out . Think of this , and pity my sufferings , which were all owing to you ; for I have
followed your example , and have offered an Asylum to the Aged ; but I have not , like you , received their thanks . All I can hope for is , not to have my retirement again invaded ; and that , if I must be made useful , I may be treated with some show of kindness . Pray show some mercy for my sake , or you'll be the death of Your old friend , GRAND COCKED HAT .
Since writing the above , the intelligence of the decease of my illustrious caput reached me , and of course I expected to be borne as a prominent feature of heraldic display on the bier ; but alas ! I am alone in my loneliness . Yet no . I have reason to apprehend that certain troublesome moths may disturb my rest . Send me a little of your pepper , wrapped up in some odd sheets of your Review , just to keep them in order in my little box . I have often observed the effect of your pages on the olfactories of things of larger growth . Do this , and I may send you a scrap 01 two worth having .
Initiation Of A Lady.
INITIATION OF A LADY .
THE lady of General Faintraille having adopted the military uniform , served as adjutant to her husband ; she had distinguished herself by several heroic deeds of arms , but so particularly by her kindness and liberality to mankind in general , that the first Consul - presented her with a commission as Captain of Cavalry , should she feel disposed to continue in the profession of her choice . The Lodge of " Freres Artistes , " of which many military officers