Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software.
Reviews.
REVIEWS .
All Books intended for Review should be addressed to the Editor of The Freemason ' s Chronicle , 23 Great Queen Street , W . C . Two Tunis of the Wheel . By John Baker Hopkins . Illustrated by A . Fairfax Lumloy . Loudon : Newman and Co ., 43 Hart-street , Bloomsbnry , W . C .
WE wero inclined , on glancing through tho first few pages of this volume , to lay it aside as tho oiYovt of somo ' pventico hand iu literature who , iu tho exerciso of his vaulting ambition , had overleaped himself . Upon many minds tho rough-and-ready style adopted by tho author in the opening of his design will grate somewhat harshly , and thero is a suggestion of an undue use of " flashy " epithets and
expressions attributed to tho hero who is supposed to be writing his own autobiography . Bnt as the machine travels the wheels are more judiciously oiled , and the intorest of the reader is quickened as the skein of incidents and life pictures is unravelled . We can quite see , in the wcyward , headstrong , spoilt ohild of tho cobbler ' s family down at Bow , the personification of many a precocious youth who , breaking
away early from the maternal apron-strings , bounds along through life in acrobatic fashion till some inevitable ballast finds its way into his mental hold . And when our hero plunges fairly into life , has wooed and wedded and fiuds his " troubles begin , " wo do nob know that he comes out much the worse for his precipitate rushing in where many an angel would fear to tread . His boarding-school
exploits , his upstart aspirations , and peevish peccadiloes at homo , might probably be attributed more to the overweening pampering to which the mothers of only sons are so invariably prone than to any fault of his own ; and there is much broad humour in the account he gives of himself when , shuffling off the swaddling clothes of parental control , he rushes into the choice of a profession and a wife . Like
all his other ventures , Mr . Gnnimer junior makes love in a slap-dash hurry , and the only wonder is that the daughter of a spendthrift , who has to eke out an existence by needlework , aud whose style of conversation is so fragrant of back-alley phraseology , brightens up so sensibly as the pages of her life are read . Matilda , iu her courting and early married days , suggests to ns the buxom lass who , with
sleeves rolled up and arms akimbo , would gossip with fluent tongne with whomsoever came along , and in language which , though argumentative , is rather unrefined . For instance , in the tcnderest and most melting moments of courtship she professes an objection to being kissed as if she was " a Pope ' s toe , " aud to being squoezed as if she were " a lemonade lemon " which her lover had " bought and
paid for . Still the maiden seems to have a shrewd sense of practical utility in life , and carries it out in a manner illustrated by her sa » e remark that " a half pennyworth of bread done up French-roll fashion may be more genteel , but I would rather have a bi g loaf any shape , with enough to eat ,, and something in the cupboard . " Matilda is decidedly not poetical or genteel , and she has an eye to
quantity rather than quality in her estimate of things mundane . As with most impetuous tempers , Matilda is jealous , and the green eye'd monster early appears , placing his victim in many ludicrous situations , whioh the author delineates with something of the broad humour of Mark Twain . But though the wifely temper betrays much of the nettle-rash of irritation , it must not be supposed that Mr . and
Mrs . Gummer are by any means " a snap-dog and a spitfire-cat couple . " True , as the family are growing up , and the two daughters are enabled , by the improved pecuniary circumstances of Paterfamilias , to receive a superior education our hero ' s domestic happiness becomes a little marred by the strong proclivities of Mrs . Gummer and " the girls " to ape gentility . He rather mournfully relates : —
" The neighbours we had known for years were snubbed and cut . I was not allowed to ride outside an omnibus , nor to smoke a clay pipe in my own garden , unless I stood between the washhouse and the dust . biu , where I could not be seen . Oar rooms were darkened by curtains being drawn across the windows , plenty of daylight beiug unfashionable . When we went to a theatre , instead of omnibus
and leave your bonnet , or tuck it under your cloak , there was full dress and a fly . Mamma , who bad been accustomed to substantial refreshment , was restricted to an ice and a sweet cake . The girls wanted to abolish hot suppers , and to have a six o ' clock tea . . . . So our one o'clock meal waB called lunch , and the last meal was at eight instead of nine o ' clock , and was described as dinner . "
In point of fact , onr hero is very much married ; and who does not know of scores of cases in which rapid progress and unexpected affluence have not their counterbalancing disadvantages and restric . tions imposed by family aspirations to " gentility" and a panderinoto the foibles of " fashion ? " Yet Tom seem 3 to bowl alon » the matrimonial greensward fairly easy , and submits with a good deal
of hard-headed common sense to the " nagging" and occasional explosions of bottled-up temper and importance on the pact of " Mamma " and her fledglings . Some of these flint-and-steel passawes of domestic controversy are capitally told , though the cayenne powdered into poor Tom's homely soup is occasionally hot . Mrs . Gummer is a candid woman , and speaks her mind . For instance ,
when the question of the girls' future prospects is under consideration , the brute of a husband makes her say : — " Tom , for the sake of the girls I would swim through an ocean of blazing brimstone , provided I was a swimmer and could stand burning . Suppose we took a villa in a hig h , neighbourhood , standing in its own grounds , or , at the worst , semi-detached ? Mark my words , Tom , in a year or two the girls would marry on a par with their
merits and what is coming to them . You know , if there were the most beautiful empresses at Bow that ever lived , and every hair of their heads was hung with a Koh-i-noor diamond , gentility would no more think of marrying them than they would think of putting on scarlet jackets and setting off with their keepers to shoot London sparrows . " At last woman ' s will is triumphant , as is usually the case , and the
Reviews.
genteel family are perked up in their stucco-fronted villa , standing in its own grounds . They have a page , at small wages , but with a tremendous appetite . Troubles with " superior" and fastidious servants come on apace . " Tho tightest pinching could hardly keep the spending at the level of the incoming ; " and thus the even tenour of domestic ease is sacrificed at the shrine of " gentility , " whose
gregarious aud ever-increasing appetite must be satisfied with ever increasing devotion . Bnt , for all that , gentility refused to rub shoulders with the Gummers , and even when the curate called , as he was expected to do , seeing the Gnmmers had a " whole pew and nover passed the plate , " ho merely sipped a g lass of wine , looked at the girls sweetly through his eye-glass , talked about the weather ,
and then gave Mrs . Gummer and the girls a knock-down blow b y asking them where they came from ? " But though the girls _ em . broidered slippers aud worked braces , whioh were sent with delicate hinting compliments , tho girls angled clumsily , and the curate was not caught . Then came tho inevitable parties to which " gentility " was invited ; still the young ladies did not " go off , " but remained a
drug upon the matrimonial market . Dainty living and extravagant dress caused the skeleton to grow uneasy in the cupboard , as it always does when the household expenditure exceeds the ^ income . But presently comes a windfall from a deceased relative , and gentility once more reigns supreme in the bosom of the Gummer family . Of course this sadden accession of wealth begets the
usual worries . Instead of duns and tradesmen's bills , there were appeals for donations to charities , tempting baits from bubble companies , "tips" from sporting men , and dazzling offers from aathors . No doubt , as our hero puts it , " we could not read all the letters , much less answer them ! " Mr . Gummer is courted and flattered , is asked to preside over publio meetings , and to officiate aa
judge at local Flower Shows ; he is made a Fellow of the Antediluvian Society of Great Britain , and Vice-President of the Mental Emancipation Association . He invests iu au outlandish mining company ( limited ); and finally , to crown his indiscretions , he is persuaded to start a newspaper ! Mr . Jordan O'Staapler is the unprecedented genius selected to preside over that glittering venture .
" Editors did not like his articles . Publishers declined his works . Managers would not read his plays . But O'Staapler never lost faith in his literary capacity . When he was reproached for getting into debt , he replied that he devoted his talents to the servioe of the public , and he had a right to live upon the public . Moreover , O'Staapler was always on the eve of making a great fortune . ... He was to
bo the editor , at a nominal salary . He assured me that £ 500 would bo ample capital , and , indeed more than was necessary ! All the expenses would be paid by the advertisements ! His estimate was so nicely prepared , and his explanations were so plausible , that | I agreed to supply the capital for the Universal Regenerator and Modern Babylon Advertiser . Mrs . Gnmmer was to have the boxes at tho
opera , the boxes at the theatres , and tho presents sent to tho editor . I was to be the director of the paper , and Jordan O'Staapler was to be the working editor . " This was weak of me , I know ; but then it was a human weakness . Every man thinks he is capable of being a Prime Minister , a Foreign Secretary , a Chancellor of the Exchequer , an Adonis with
the ladies , and an Editor . . . . O'Staapler introduced me to a score of unappreciated geniuses , and I had to treat these gentle , men , who drank like feverish fish , afc all hours in the day , besides giving very wet dinners to O'Staapler's intimates . O'Staapler , who had charge of the petty cash , smoked the finest cigars , and saturated his body with fours of whiskey cold , except during the early hours of the
morning , when he drank bitter beer as a pick up . " There were disappointments even before the paper appeared . Our advertisement canvasser , who was certain that he could fill up four pages , signally failed . Advertisers , he said , would not go in till they had seen the paper . So we had to start with a conple of pages of dummies—that ia advertisements copied from other papers . The
theatres declined to put us on the free list . I proposed to pay . " ' Never , ' said O'Staapler , ' will I submit to such an imposition . Pay ! What for ? To fill the pockets of dramatists , actors , and managers ? It is all humbug for the critic of a weekly to go to the theatre . I shall just look into the dailies and make mincemeat of the pieces and the theatres . The managers will be civil to us before
long . ' "The publishers did not send us their new books , though we condescended to apply for them . " ' So much the better , ' said O'Staapler , ' it will save the trouble of cutting the leaves . I am well up in literature , Mr . Gummer , and you will find that I can slate the trash without so much as seeing
the covers of the books . After a week or two the publishers will be down with their advertisements and their books . " Six numbers of the paper appeared . Nobody bought it . Nobody advertised in it , except some quack medicine dealers , at a shilling for half a column , upon which the canvasser took a commission of 25 per cent ., and omitted to hand over the balance . The theatres
ignored ns , and so did the publishers . . . Besides , Jordan O'Staapler was unpleasantly familiar . He had borrowed nearly £ 100 in the six weeks , and I offered him the copyright of the paper ; but that he would not accept , and threatened to sue me for a year s salary . When the Universal Regenerator and Modern Babylon Advertiser ceased to appear , he wrote me a letter in which he bemoaned
my folly in throwing away £ 5 , 000 a year , and my wickedness in spoiling his scheme . By the time all the bills were paid I had lost £ 900 by my venture in journalism . "' Mr . O'Staapler may be a genius , ' said Mrs . Gummer , ' for hifl clothes are never brushed ; he always wants a loan till he see 3 you next time ; his hair has not been cut for years ; and he seems to
think he has a right to other people ' s money . Bnt , genius or uo genius , a party who is thirsting for nips of spirit-and-water all day long will never make a paper or anything elso pay . A mormngi uoon , and nig ht-drinker is no better than a sleep-walker half awake , though Jordan O'Staapler , with his half awake , could p lunder the
Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software.
Reviews.
REVIEWS .
All Books intended for Review should be addressed to the Editor of The Freemason ' s Chronicle , 23 Great Queen Street , W . C . Two Tunis of the Wheel . By John Baker Hopkins . Illustrated by A . Fairfax Lumloy . Loudon : Newman and Co ., 43 Hart-street , Bloomsbnry , W . C .
WE wero inclined , on glancing through tho first few pages of this volume , to lay it aside as tho oiYovt of somo ' pventico hand iu literature who , iu tho exerciso of his vaulting ambition , had overleaped himself . Upon many minds tho rough-and-ready style adopted by tho author in the opening of his design will grate somewhat harshly , and thero is a suggestion of an undue use of " flashy " epithets and
expressions attributed to tho hero who is supposed to be writing his own autobiography . Bnt as the machine travels the wheels are more judiciously oiled , and the intorest of the reader is quickened as the skein of incidents and life pictures is unravelled . We can quite see , in the wcyward , headstrong , spoilt ohild of tho cobbler ' s family down at Bow , the personification of many a precocious youth who , breaking
away early from the maternal apron-strings , bounds along through life in acrobatic fashion till some inevitable ballast finds its way into his mental hold . And when our hero plunges fairly into life , has wooed and wedded and fiuds his " troubles begin , " wo do nob know that he comes out much the worse for his precipitate rushing in where many an angel would fear to tread . His boarding-school
exploits , his upstart aspirations , and peevish peccadiloes at homo , might probably be attributed more to the overweening pampering to which the mothers of only sons are so invariably prone than to any fault of his own ; and there is much broad humour in the account he gives of himself when , shuffling off the swaddling clothes of parental control , he rushes into the choice of a profession and a wife . Like
all his other ventures , Mr . Gnnimer junior makes love in a slap-dash hurry , and the only wonder is that the daughter of a spendthrift , who has to eke out an existence by needlework , aud whose style of conversation is so fragrant of back-alley phraseology , brightens up so sensibly as the pages of her life are read . Matilda , iu her courting and early married days , suggests to ns the buxom lass who , with
sleeves rolled up and arms akimbo , would gossip with fluent tongne with whomsoever came along , and in language which , though argumentative , is rather unrefined . For instance , in the tcnderest and most melting moments of courtship she professes an objection to being kissed as if she was " a Pope ' s toe , " aud to being squoezed as if she were " a lemonade lemon " which her lover had " bought and
paid for . Still the maiden seems to have a shrewd sense of practical utility in life , and carries it out in a manner illustrated by her sa » e remark that " a half pennyworth of bread done up French-roll fashion may be more genteel , but I would rather have a bi g loaf any shape , with enough to eat ,, and something in the cupboard . " Matilda is decidedly not poetical or genteel , and she has an eye to
quantity rather than quality in her estimate of things mundane . As with most impetuous tempers , Matilda is jealous , and the green eye'd monster early appears , placing his victim in many ludicrous situations , whioh the author delineates with something of the broad humour of Mark Twain . But though the wifely temper betrays much of the nettle-rash of irritation , it must not be supposed that Mr . and
Mrs . Gummer are by any means " a snap-dog and a spitfire-cat couple . " True , as the family are growing up , and the two daughters are enabled , by the improved pecuniary circumstances of Paterfamilias , to receive a superior education our hero ' s domestic happiness becomes a little marred by the strong proclivities of Mrs . Gummer and " the girls " to ape gentility . He rather mournfully relates : —
" The neighbours we had known for years were snubbed and cut . I was not allowed to ride outside an omnibus , nor to smoke a clay pipe in my own garden , unless I stood between the washhouse and the dust . biu , where I could not be seen . Oar rooms were darkened by curtains being drawn across the windows , plenty of daylight beiug unfashionable . When we went to a theatre , instead of omnibus
and leave your bonnet , or tuck it under your cloak , there was full dress and a fly . Mamma , who bad been accustomed to substantial refreshment , was restricted to an ice and a sweet cake . The girls wanted to abolish hot suppers , and to have a six o ' clock tea . . . . So our one o'clock meal waB called lunch , and the last meal was at eight instead of nine o ' clock , and was described as dinner . "
In point of fact , onr hero is very much married ; and who does not know of scores of cases in which rapid progress and unexpected affluence have not their counterbalancing disadvantages and restric . tions imposed by family aspirations to " gentility" and a panderinoto the foibles of " fashion ? " Yet Tom seem 3 to bowl alon » the matrimonial greensward fairly easy , and submits with a good deal
of hard-headed common sense to the " nagging" and occasional explosions of bottled-up temper and importance on the pact of " Mamma " and her fledglings . Some of these flint-and-steel passawes of domestic controversy are capitally told , though the cayenne powdered into poor Tom's homely soup is occasionally hot . Mrs . Gummer is a candid woman , and speaks her mind . For instance ,
when the question of the girls' future prospects is under consideration , the brute of a husband makes her say : — " Tom , for the sake of the girls I would swim through an ocean of blazing brimstone , provided I was a swimmer and could stand burning . Suppose we took a villa in a hig h , neighbourhood , standing in its own grounds , or , at the worst , semi-detached ? Mark my words , Tom , in a year or two the girls would marry on a par with their
merits and what is coming to them . You know , if there were the most beautiful empresses at Bow that ever lived , and every hair of their heads was hung with a Koh-i-noor diamond , gentility would no more think of marrying them than they would think of putting on scarlet jackets and setting off with their keepers to shoot London sparrows . " At last woman ' s will is triumphant , as is usually the case , and the
Reviews.
genteel family are perked up in their stucco-fronted villa , standing in its own grounds . They have a page , at small wages , but with a tremendous appetite . Troubles with " superior" and fastidious servants come on apace . " Tho tightest pinching could hardly keep the spending at the level of the incoming ; " and thus the even tenour of domestic ease is sacrificed at the shrine of " gentility , " whose
gregarious aud ever-increasing appetite must be satisfied with ever increasing devotion . Bnt , for all that , gentility refused to rub shoulders with the Gummers , and even when the curate called , as he was expected to do , seeing the Gnmmers had a " whole pew and nover passed the plate , " ho merely sipped a g lass of wine , looked at the girls sweetly through his eye-glass , talked about the weather ,
and then gave Mrs . Gummer and the girls a knock-down blow b y asking them where they came from ? " But though the girls _ em . broidered slippers aud worked braces , whioh were sent with delicate hinting compliments , tho girls angled clumsily , and the curate was not caught . Then came tho inevitable parties to which " gentility " was invited ; still the young ladies did not " go off , " but remained a
drug upon the matrimonial market . Dainty living and extravagant dress caused the skeleton to grow uneasy in the cupboard , as it always does when the household expenditure exceeds the ^ income . But presently comes a windfall from a deceased relative , and gentility once more reigns supreme in the bosom of the Gummer family . Of course this sadden accession of wealth begets the
usual worries . Instead of duns and tradesmen's bills , there were appeals for donations to charities , tempting baits from bubble companies , "tips" from sporting men , and dazzling offers from aathors . No doubt , as our hero puts it , " we could not read all the letters , much less answer them ! " Mr . Gummer is courted and flattered , is asked to preside over publio meetings , and to officiate aa
judge at local Flower Shows ; he is made a Fellow of the Antediluvian Society of Great Britain , and Vice-President of the Mental Emancipation Association . He invests iu au outlandish mining company ( limited ); and finally , to crown his indiscretions , he is persuaded to start a newspaper ! Mr . Jordan O'Staapler is the unprecedented genius selected to preside over that glittering venture .
" Editors did not like his articles . Publishers declined his works . Managers would not read his plays . But O'Staapler never lost faith in his literary capacity . When he was reproached for getting into debt , he replied that he devoted his talents to the servioe of the public , and he had a right to live upon the public . Moreover , O'Staapler was always on the eve of making a great fortune . ... He was to
bo the editor , at a nominal salary . He assured me that £ 500 would bo ample capital , and , indeed more than was necessary ! All the expenses would be paid by the advertisements ! His estimate was so nicely prepared , and his explanations were so plausible , that | I agreed to supply the capital for the Universal Regenerator and Modern Babylon Advertiser . Mrs . Gnmmer was to have the boxes at tho
opera , the boxes at the theatres , and tho presents sent to tho editor . I was to be the director of the paper , and Jordan O'Staapler was to be the working editor . " This was weak of me , I know ; but then it was a human weakness . Every man thinks he is capable of being a Prime Minister , a Foreign Secretary , a Chancellor of the Exchequer , an Adonis with
the ladies , and an Editor . . . . O'Staapler introduced me to a score of unappreciated geniuses , and I had to treat these gentle , men , who drank like feverish fish , afc all hours in the day , besides giving very wet dinners to O'Staapler's intimates . O'Staapler , who had charge of the petty cash , smoked the finest cigars , and saturated his body with fours of whiskey cold , except during the early hours of the
morning , when he drank bitter beer as a pick up . " There were disappointments even before the paper appeared . Our advertisement canvasser , who was certain that he could fill up four pages , signally failed . Advertisers , he said , would not go in till they had seen the paper . So we had to start with a conple of pages of dummies—that ia advertisements copied from other papers . The
theatres declined to put us on the free list . I proposed to pay . " ' Never , ' said O'Staapler , ' will I submit to such an imposition . Pay ! What for ? To fill the pockets of dramatists , actors , and managers ? It is all humbug for the critic of a weekly to go to the theatre . I shall just look into the dailies and make mincemeat of the pieces and the theatres . The managers will be civil to us before
long . ' "The publishers did not send us their new books , though we condescended to apply for them . " ' So much the better , ' said O'Staapler , ' it will save the trouble of cutting the leaves . I am well up in literature , Mr . Gummer , and you will find that I can slate the trash without so much as seeing
the covers of the books . After a week or two the publishers will be down with their advertisements and their books . " Six numbers of the paper appeared . Nobody bought it . Nobody advertised in it , except some quack medicine dealers , at a shilling for half a column , upon which the canvasser took a commission of 25 per cent ., and omitted to hand over the balance . The theatres
ignored ns , and so did the publishers . . . Besides , Jordan O'Staapler was unpleasantly familiar . He had borrowed nearly £ 100 in the six weeks , and I offered him the copyright of the paper ; but that he would not accept , and threatened to sue me for a year s salary . When the Universal Regenerator and Modern Babylon Advertiser ceased to appear , he wrote me a letter in which he bemoaned
my folly in throwing away £ 5 , 000 a year , and my wickedness in spoiling his scheme . By the time all the bills were paid I had lost £ 900 by my venture in journalism . "' Mr . O'Staapler may be a genius , ' said Mrs . Gummer , ' for hifl clothes are never brushed ; he always wants a loan till he see 3 you next time ; his hair has not been cut for years ; and he seems to
think he has a right to other people ' s money . Bnt , genius or uo genius , a party who is thirsting for nips of spirit-and-water all day long will never make a paper or anything elso pay . A mormngi uoon , and nig ht-drinker is no better than a sleep-walker half awake , though Jordan O'Staapler , with his half awake , could p lunder the