An Odd Fish In The Lodge.

simia of his collection , and there it stood until burned in tho great conflagration . Did the reader ever see a Tyler ' s likeness placed among thoso groups that adorn Masonic Lodge rooms ? Never . No photographer will consent to take one . He will invent some excuse or other , " that tho suu don ' t shine to-day , " or " his chemicals aro impure ; " but tho truth is , he wont risk his camera glass

npon the subject . Did you ever hear of a Grand Lodgo ordering a Tyler ' s portrait painted ? Never . And yon never will . No artist is so lost to tho dignity of his profession as to consent to paint one . But , as I remarked , Bro . Laurenco Rochelle is considerably homelier than other Tylers . The small pox early disfigured him . But that was as nothing to what happened afterwards . He is so

oxecssivoly " humbly " ( as the New England Yankees around Bostou pronounce all words spelled in that way , ) that " visiting brethren " aro apt to forget the proper answers when ho is present . One of them , a young minister , was undergoing an examination . "Quarterly meeting" met there that week , and he was invited to visit Last Debt Lodge . All was going on well . He had got safely ovor

tho 49 th question , whatever that is—I only tell the story as t was told me—when the Tyler , Bro . Rochelle , looked into the preparation room , and the Reverend Brother caught sight of his face , " Oh , " says ho , " your members wear masks , do they ? " Afterwards in a private confab with me , the ecclesiast acknowledged to me that he had been " reading Morgan , " and naturally concluded that Bro .

Rochelle was wearing a mask to represent Satan in the ceremonies of the Lodge . I have been " seriously asked" why the homeliest man in the Lodge always seems pointed out by destiny for the position of Tyler ? I am " seriously asked" a great many other hard questions . My uniform answer to this is ( and that always stops further inquiry ) , " it

is one of the landmarks . " Nobody in tho world ( except myself ) knows what " the Masonic Landmarks" are . The inquirer is bound to admit that answer conclusive . Is it not said that when , in the course of one of our great battles , a cassion exploded , awfully disfiguring twelve men , that the captain of tho gun ( I am sorry to add a Freemason ) instantlv shouted , " there is a dozen Tylers

made at one pop ! ' It was an improper remark in him , and I only give it in tho way of illustration . For my part I have long ceased to encourage jesting upon Masouic subjects . One eminent advantage , however , grows out of Bro . Rochelle ' s position as Tyler oE Last Debt Lodge , viz : That it saves tho treasury untold sums , that would otherwise go to beggars . " Let mo

instance , as logicians say . First—The traditional " widow of a Royal Arch Mason , " Mrs . Hcnnpege , who was in your Lodge last year , and mine the year before , and will como round again as regularly as the seasons do , never called at Last Debt Lodge but once . She climbed up to the third story with difficult }' , for the window is a gross feeder , and

large . She came puffing and panting into tho Tyler s room . Bro . Rochello was there , " armed with tho proper instrument of his office , " as he always is when ou duty , and as the widow camo in , he incautiously turned his full countenance upou her . Now as a general rule , Bro . B . does not do that . When he is good natnred he rarely ever shows a man more than his profile . But that night

he was angered at something , and ho gave the marauding she corsair , as I said , a full face . The effect was tremendous . The widow staggered back , covered her faco with both hands , dropped her bundle of " documents , " shrieked wildly , Graciom hcvings ! three times , added " it ' s the devil , " and retreated down stairs like a lard barrel , and returned to her hotel . It is reported that she made

statements there highly derogatory to the Lodge , bnt one thing is certain , she never came back after her "documents , " and had to get up a new set before she could go to tho next town . Second—The second case is that of the notorious victimizcr , Zerubbabel Shanks , who has bought him a nice farm in ouo of the Western States out of the proceeds of his Masonic depredations .

Shanks undertook to try his little game on Last Debt Lodge , and made application accordingly . But being desired to " explain his case" to a committee , of which Bro . Rochelle was chairman , he hesitated , prevaricated , and finally broke down , acknowledging that ho could not make his statement " while that wicked left eye" ol the Tyler was bearing upon him ! When the rascality of

Zerubbabel Shanks was finally brought to light , the Lodge gavo Bro . Rochelle a vote of thanks for his acnteness in detecting the impostor , and incontinently raised his salary to 7 o cents a night . Third—The third case is that remarkable instance of Major Grohagau . Tho Major was a most brazen impostor , and succeeded in victimizing all the Lodges round to amounts varying from live to

fifty dollars each . Ho had nearly screwed a twenty out of Bad Debt Dodge ; tho money in fact was actually " appropriated , " and nearly " handed over . " By good luck the Treasurer , being extremely busy , requested Bro Rochello to deliver the amotiut to Major Grohagan , who was waiting for it at the hotel . Bro . Rochelle did call , but upon introducing

himself to " the distressed brother , " and stating that " he wished to see him for a moment privately , " that experienced pirate took him for a Philadelphia detective , aud making a temporary excuse slipped out at the back door of the hotel , and disappeared ovor the fence . The Major is now serving out his twenty years' term in the shoe shops of the State ' s prison , but says , "he never had anything to

nlarm him so much in all his life as when that Tyler called on him to ask for a private conversation . " I don ' t wonder . It is said , and statistics confirm it , that in no Lodgo in Cash county are the dues collected up so punctually as in Last Debt Lodge , No . DO . Tho reason is obvious . Every quarter , punctually , tho bills aro mado out by tho Secretary , Bro . Prophet , and handed to

Bro . Rochelle . He announces in open Lodgo the fact , thai ; "he has tho bills and shall call , of evenings , at the private houses of tho members , and collect them . " Every brother who is a married man instantly takes the alarm and pays up at once , to avert the impending calamity , for a story is prevalent in that vicinity , at which they well shudder , as the horrid effects of one of those evening calls , and

An Odd Fish In The Lodge.

nobody is bravo enough to risk it the second time . In fact , I saw tho reason for the scare , aud it is a good one . Before the month is out , Bro . Rochelle has tho cash " all in hand , " and so reports it at the very next meeting of the Lodge . It will be well enough to explain what I mean by my title to this chapter ; " An Odd Fish in tho Lodge . " It is that Brother

Rochello is as witty and pungent as ho is homely . Being a cooper by trade he has acquired all the philosophy peculiar to that mechanical art , and brings it to bear with a humour all his own , npon his Masonic brethren . Nobody can tell a good thing like a homely man . Whoever heard of a handsome person being a wit ? Nobody . The present writer owes what little celebrity he possesses ( a very

little ) , as a retailer of current jests , to a certain hardness of countenance—a kind of crust , as it were—a bronze of expression , that enables him to command tho gravity necessary to the utterance of a bon mot . I would as soon look for a wit in an elegant woman as a handsome man . Now our hero , Bro . Rochelle , maintains the analogy alluded to ; being the homeliest of Tylers , he is the wittiest

of Tylers , and affords to his companions in tho Lodge a constant feast of good things . This leads ( as tho sight of sun-flint 3 rationally suggests the idea of shooting ) to a circumstanco that the reader would not gess at . Last Debt Lodge , No . 90 , is the only Foyer Mncomiirjaee in all that district that maintains the ancient practice of " refreshment after labour . " Its Junior Warden , Bro . Halibut , sits

under a sheaf of wheat suspended from tho ceiling above him , as a constant reminder of the fact that " to him is committed the superintendence qf the Craft during tho hours of refreshment , and it is therefore essentially necessary that ho should not onl y be temperate and discreet in the indulgence of his own inclinations but he should

carefully observe that none of tho Craft convert the purposes of refreshment into intemperauco and excess . " Its Senior Warden , Bro . Anastatica , feels that to suffer the country brethren to go home , five and ten miles after midnight , with empty stomachs , comes within the prohibition of" suffering any to go away dissatisfied , " and ho uses his official influence for " refreshments after labonr . "

The Senior Deacon , Bro . loketooth , whoso sole pnrpose in this lifo ( next to the care of his family and salvation of his soul ) is " to welcome and accommodate visiting brethren , " finds there is no welcome complete , no accommodation perfect , if tho visiting brethren are permitted to retire without a taste of No . 90 ' s hospitality . Tho Worshipful Master of tho present year ( Bro . Toinanite ) is

personally a good feeder . Ho is a bachelor , like our Bro . Nonreddin Effendi , and has no one to got him up a nico thing when he goes home cold and empty from tho Lodge room . So he favours " refreshments after labor , " for tho same reason that Paul advised Timothy to imbibe a little of Lebanon's golden wine , \ ' v . : for " the stomach ' s sake . " The two stewards , of course . < ro in for

refreshments . How else can they " seo that the tables aro propfirly furnished at refreshment , and that every brother is suitably provided for . " Impossible . But after all , althongh every ono of these offices has a valid and constitutional ivason for favouring " refreshment after labour , " it is moro than unlikely that tho Lodge , No . 90 , wonld continue that

practice wero it not for tho Tyler whose f > on mots , witty sayings , and side-splitting anecdotes aro so enjoyable , and I miy add so inexhaustible that men enrno seven mile 1 ' , even stn-olhing their cable tows , to attend the regular communication of Last Debt Lodo'C to enjoy them . If tint theory is ill-foundcl , why thou does not every Lodge do as No . 90 docs ? Every . iuuior Warden

has the same catechetical reason for it . So has every Senior Warden and Senior Deacon , and every pair of Stewards . Yet tho practica has fallen into almost universal desuetude , and there is a set of Masons who , for the sins of Fraternity , are allowed pen and ink , yea , and the aid of typo and paper to promulgate the heresy that

" refreshment after labor is a relic of the barbarous days—productive of waste of funds , tending to intemperate habits , making the Institution unpopular , " and all sorts of trashy and nonsensical statements besides . Bah ! let mo wash from my mouth such salt and brimstone with some lines from Montgomery :

Thus sweetly to surrender , The present for the past , In sprightly mood , yet tender , Life ' s burden down to cast ; This is to taste from stage to stage ,

Youth no less refined by age , Like wine well kept and long Heady , nor harsh , nor strong , With every auuual enp is quaffed , A richer , purer , mellower draught

Now I can return again to my subject , which is to explain how the excessive homeliness of Bro . Rochelle is promotive of such Lodge festivity , that the Lodge itself is favoured beyond all its neighbours . The cause is obvious : it is the fund of quaint sentiment poured forth by the Tyler , in which all manner of ancient traditions , biblical morals , modern incidents , quips , qnirks , and oddities aro

blended with the soberest counsel , and accompanied with the soberest faces . Tho present writer in the last forty years has enjoyed more than ono of those " feasts of reason and flows of soul , " aud can truly testify to the profit derived therefrom . Among tho evidences of the acnteness and humour of this good homel y man , I quote from a memorandum made at one of those gatherings :

"The monitorial instruction of the Third Degree tells , us , my brethren , that the grand edifice styled King Solomon ' s Temple was attended with two remarkable circumstances . From Jo 3 ephus , we learn that although seven years were occupied in building it , yet , during tbe whole time , 'it rained not in tbe day- time , that tho

workmen might not be obstructed in their labour . ' Now no such statements were ever mndo by JosepLitis . Iu his description of the Templo of Herod ( not King Solomon ' s Temple , but the one built on the same spot a thousand years later ) ho says it was built in one year and six months , and that it ' was reported' that during tho