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  • Sept. 5, 1885
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  • TRADING ON FREEMASONRY.
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The Freemason's Chronicle, Sept. 5, 1885: Page 9

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Trading On Freemasonry.

" Two what ? enquired the other . " Don't you know ? That ' s an expression in the bizness , to distinguish the grown-up folk from the hinfants . " From this I gathered that our elder friend was an undertaker . " Yes , "

he repeated , " we had two ' growns ' yesterday , and very nice and purty they was done too , for which I gives Tom credit . Tom ' s a quiet , steady lad , aud if anything happens to me he will carry on the bizness , whilst the other

one will have one or two of the houses I have managed to buy . " " Oh , then , yours is a money-making game , old boy ? " rejoined the other ; " buying houses uow-a-davs is rare amongst any other trade than undertaking . " " Well , "

replied the " old boy " thus addressed , " it ain't quite so brisk as it used to be ; there ' s more on us at it , you see , " referring , I suppose , to the increased competition in his particular line rather than to any diminution in the rate of

mortality . " Anyhow , I ' ve been able to buy four good houses , and they'll be enough for me so long as I can hobble about ; after that they and the bizness goes to the lads . " After dipping once more into general topics , he

inquired , And so yon live in Hawthorn Square , do you ? Ah , I had three ' oaks' from there within the last six months . Real tip-top jobs , them ; quite gen'lefolks ; and you know one job recommends another . " With a touch of

grim satisfaction he added , " I never yet conducted a funeral at anybody ' s house but they was so pleased with my arrangements that they wanted to see me again soon ! When I buried poor old Mr . So-and-So ' s wife , he was so

pleased with me that he recommended me to his next-door neighbour , and he in turn recommended me to the parson in the same square , who purty nigh broke his ' eart over that sweet daughter o' his . And so , you see , " digging

the other in the ribs , and winking slyly , " nothing succeeds like success . If you ' re dealing with poor folk , you may charge ' em quids , but it ain't decent among the bettermost class , they wont hear nothink except it's guineas . Well ,

well , I suppose we mustn't grumble , eh ? When the dear old parson went away to the Continent to recruit his ' ealth , " quoth the old man , " they rose a subscription for him , and I couldn't do much less than

send in my guinea towards it ; so I did . " And here , in proud ^ recollection of the fact , he ordered " two more whiskies , please , miss 1 " After some further reference to the provision he had made for his sons , the conversation

reverted again to family matters , and the younger man observed , " Tour sons seem to have been pretty well provided for , but you had a wife ; how about her ? " "Do you see this ' ere ' at-band , Mister ? " " Thought it -was

part of the bizness , " replied the other ; "No , this ' ere ' atband ' s for her , " he said , with a deep sigh . and there was a silence between the two for a moment . It was evident that , accustomed as the old man was to

arranging for the obsequies of others , Death , who is uo respecter of persons , had touched him too . The event had happened quite recently , and it had struck home to the old man ' s heart . " She wor a good old sort , " he went on ,

shaking his head . " It wor all through that cussed drink ; all along of an old charwoman as used to come in now and then to ' elp with the ' eavy part of the work . Lor' love yer , she could ' nt do a bit of cookin' without a drop o' gin ;

she always had a kind o' smlcin' in her stomick ; and so she persuaded the missns 'twas good for her , too ; and so my wife took to it , wuss luck ! Then my daughter took to nipping little drops along with ' em , and they ' re both

gone now , all through that cussed drink ! " The subsequent dialogue revealed that , although he did fairly well out of the undertaking , the late lamented missus did considerably more in a quiet sort of way by means of a loan office in a

small line on her own account , amongst the costormongers and poorer classes , who in times of need would borrow small sums , ranging from half-a-sovereign to a fiver , which they promptly returned with interest . Thus the coster

who wanted a little " ready " to go to market with found a friend in the old lady , who acted as a sort of banker and Money lender nil in one , and enabled these poor traders to tide over many a difficulty , to their mutual advantage .

The subject then took another turn , and the old man remarked , " I have been a Forester , you know , for sqme years , and I ' ve got many a job through belonging to them . And you ' re a Freemason , they tell me ? " " Yes , " the

^ vas reply . " Well , I ' m too old to become one now , I suppose , " rejoined the other ; " but what might be the cost if 1 felfc inclined to let my son join your Order ? " Well , if you ' re not extravagant , about £ 15 at first , and a ! < y £ 5 a year afterwards } you could do very well for

Trading On Freemasonry.

that . " A sudden idea seemed to strike the old man as he scratched his head , evidently with an eye to business . " That ain ' t much , " ho exclaimed ; " suppose I was to make one of my sons a Freemason ? Do you think it

would pay ? He ' s a good-looking chap , and always wears nice fitting waistcoats , and everything natty , —clean , white neckcloth , aud so on . It's a bad game , Mister , to neglect your personal appearance . " The other nodded

approvingly , but ventured no reply as to the " paying game" of becoming a Mason . The remark could not but remind me of the too many persons who join our Order through mercenary and other unworthy motives , of

whom there are unfortunately such frequent instances in the modern history of the Craft . Our veteran friend was evidently imbued with the idea which , I am afraid , is far too common among aspirants for a participation in

the mysteries and privileges of Freemasonry , namely , that it is a passport , not only to social aggrandisement , but a stepping-stone to pecuniary gain . Consequently , I was pleased to observe that the friend to whom the

remark was addressed proved that he had learned the lesson of caution taught him in the earlier stages of his Masonic career , and very little information was vouchsafed his inquirer as to the paying attributes of

Freemasonry . This only shows how valuable are the precepts which actuate true Freemasons , for once admit of the poor principle suggested by the heading of this article , and away goes the very pith and marrow of the Order whose

purity and stability we all so much admire . At this moment the son made his appearance on the scene , and I was curious to hear what might ooze out with respect to the question of which I was itching to learn a little , but nothing further

turned upon Masonry . The son was , as his father had proudly described him , a smart-looking young fellow , and he immediately launched into business topics . " Do you know , father , Jack Smith , who has been with us some

time ? Well , I ' ve given him the sack . " " What for ?" asked the old man , in evident surprise . " Well , I wanted him to take some trestles up to Eoad , in readiness for that funeral to-morrow , and he refused , so I told him he

would not be wanted any more . " The old man , who listened to the story , replied , "It ' s not quite right , you know , Tom . Don't you think it would have been better to have offered him his tram-fare ? He would have

taken the trestles then . Now it will be more expensive to send them . " Perhaps he was thinking more of his own convenience than of the man who had thus been suddenly thrown out of employment . But though the man lived

that way , " he was not going to carry trestles ; ' to him it was infra dig . After the son had passed on , the old man whispered to his companion , " Silly follow ! I've paid that man two pun' eight this week for driving for me . "

The other inquired , " What ? do you pay your men so much as that ! " " Well , you see , I pays ' em so much a job , say four shillings each , and we had two every day , which makes up his two pun' eight . " " And good pay , too , "

rejoined his companion . " When he came to me he was only a gen'leraan's coachman out of place , and was fearfully hard up ; but when he earns money he always gets high and mighty , and proud . That ain't the way

to get on , Mister , is it , now ? You don't know what you may want to-morrow . " After this sage reflection there was a talk about wreaths , and the money that is wasted in the purchase of these so-called " tributes of affection , " on the

part of sorrowing relatives and friends . But there was a touch of human nature as the old fellow related an instance of a young married woman who had lost her husband , and whose funeral took place at the same hour as that of some

richer individual whose bier was " literally buried in dowers , " as the reporters say . As the embowered coffin was borne on in front a wreath fell accidentally from it , and our old friend , the " cockalorum , " who was

superintending both funerals , immediately snatched it up , and surreptitiously placed it on the more humble coffin as it came along in the rear , " She were very fond of ilowers , poor dear , " ho said , " and ' ow site did cry when she saw

me put that ' ere wreath on her poor dear husband ' s coffin , even tho' twer'nt mine to give . '" Aud here the old man took another nip , with proud satisfaction at having done a o-enerous , if not altogether an honest , action . It appears

that when remonstrated with by the parties to whom it belonged , he merely replied that he knevy it was wrong to take another person ' s property , and especially one who was dead , but he eonld ' v . t help it ) he harl ' nt tho heart tosee ono so well provided for , and tho other perfectly deficient

“The Freemason's Chronicle: 1885-09-05, Page 9” Masonic Periodicals Online, Library and Museum of Freemasonry, 3 Aug. 2025, django:8000/periodicals/fcn/issues/fcn_05091885/page/9/.
  • List
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Title Category Page
A DEARTH OF CANDIDATES. Article 1
CONSOLIDATION OF LODGES. Article 2
SO-CALLED " CRYPTIC MASONRY." Article 2
OBEDIENCE. Article 4
ALLIED MASONIC DEGREES. Article 4
CORRESPONDENCE. Article 5
AN EMPLOYMENT BUREAU. Article 5
INSTALLATION MEETINGS, &c. Article 6
DUKE OF CONNAUGHT LODGE, No. 1,834. Article 6
GEORGE PRICE LODGE, No. 2,096. Article 6
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Untitled Article 8
TRADING ON FREEMASONRY. Article 8
MARK MASONRY. Article 10
ROSICRUCIAN SOCIETY. Article 10
Old Warrrants (I). Article 10
UNITED GRAND LODGE. Article 11
THE THEATRES. Article 11
DIARY FOR THE WEEK. Article 12
THE SHIP AND TURTLE, LEADENHALL STREET. Article 13
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Trading On Freemasonry.

" Two what ? enquired the other . " Don't you know ? That ' s an expression in the bizness , to distinguish the grown-up folk from the hinfants . " From this I gathered that our elder friend was an undertaker . " Yes , "

he repeated , " we had two ' growns ' yesterday , and very nice and purty they was done too , for which I gives Tom credit . Tom ' s a quiet , steady lad , aud if anything happens to me he will carry on the bizness , whilst the other

one will have one or two of the houses I have managed to buy . " " Oh , then , yours is a money-making game , old boy ? " rejoined the other ; " buying houses uow-a-davs is rare amongst any other trade than undertaking . " " Well , "

replied the " old boy " thus addressed , " it ain't quite so brisk as it used to be ; there ' s more on us at it , you see , " referring , I suppose , to the increased competition in his particular line rather than to any diminution in the rate of

mortality . " Anyhow , I ' ve been able to buy four good houses , and they'll be enough for me so long as I can hobble about ; after that they and the bizness goes to the lads . " After dipping once more into general topics , he

inquired , And so yon live in Hawthorn Square , do you ? Ah , I had three ' oaks' from there within the last six months . Real tip-top jobs , them ; quite gen'lefolks ; and you know one job recommends another . " With a touch of

grim satisfaction he added , " I never yet conducted a funeral at anybody ' s house but they was so pleased with my arrangements that they wanted to see me again soon ! When I buried poor old Mr . So-and-So ' s wife , he was so

pleased with me that he recommended me to his next-door neighbour , and he in turn recommended me to the parson in the same square , who purty nigh broke his ' eart over that sweet daughter o' his . And so , you see , " digging

the other in the ribs , and winking slyly , " nothing succeeds like success . If you ' re dealing with poor folk , you may charge ' em quids , but it ain't decent among the bettermost class , they wont hear nothink except it's guineas . Well ,

well , I suppose we mustn't grumble , eh ? When the dear old parson went away to the Continent to recruit his ' ealth , " quoth the old man , " they rose a subscription for him , and I couldn't do much less than

send in my guinea towards it ; so I did . " And here , in proud ^ recollection of the fact , he ordered " two more whiskies , please , miss 1 " After some further reference to the provision he had made for his sons , the conversation

reverted again to family matters , and the younger man observed , " Tour sons seem to have been pretty well provided for , but you had a wife ; how about her ? " "Do you see this ' ere ' at-band , Mister ? " " Thought it -was

part of the bizness , " replied the other ; "No , this ' ere ' atband ' s for her , " he said , with a deep sigh . and there was a silence between the two for a moment . It was evident that , accustomed as the old man was to

arranging for the obsequies of others , Death , who is uo respecter of persons , had touched him too . The event had happened quite recently , and it had struck home to the old man ' s heart . " She wor a good old sort , " he went on ,

shaking his head . " It wor all through that cussed drink ; all along of an old charwoman as used to come in now and then to ' elp with the ' eavy part of the work . Lor' love yer , she could ' nt do a bit of cookin' without a drop o' gin ;

she always had a kind o' smlcin' in her stomick ; and so she persuaded the missns 'twas good for her , too ; and so my wife took to it , wuss luck ! Then my daughter took to nipping little drops along with ' em , and they ' re both

gone now , all through that cussed drink ! " The subsequent dialogue revealed that , although he did fairly well out of the undertaking , the late lamented missus did considerably more in a quiet sort of way by means of a loan office in a

small line on her own account , amongst the costormongers and poorer classes , who in times of need would borrow small sums , ranging from half-a-sovereign to a fiver , which they promptly returned with interest . Thus the coster

who wanted a little " ready " to go to market with found a friend in the old lady , who acted as a sort of banker and Money lender nil in one , and enabled these poor traders to tide over many a difficulty , to their mutual advantage .

The subject then took another turn , and the old man remarked , " I have been a Forester , you know , for sqme years , and I ' ve got many a job through belonging to them . And you ' re a Freemason , they tell me ? " " Yes , " the

^ vas reply . " Well , I ' m too old to become one now , I suppose , " rejoined the other ; " but what might be the cost if 1 felfc inclined to let my son join your Order ? " Well , if you ' re not extravagant , about £ 15 at first , and a ! < y £ 5 a year afterwards } you could do very well for

Trading On Freemasonry.

that . " A sudden idea seemed to strike the old man as he scratched his head , evidently with an eye to business . " That ain ' t much , " ho exclaimed ; " suppose I was to make one of my sons a Freemason ? Do you think it

would pay ? He ' s a good-looking chap , and always wears nice fitting waistcoats , and everything natty , —clean , white neckcloth , aud so on . It's a bad game , Mister , to neglect your personal appearance . " The other nodded

approvingly , but ventured no reply as to the " paying game" of becoming a Mason . The remark could not but remind me of the too many persons who join our Order through mercenary and other unworthy motives , of

whom there are unfortunately such frequent instances in the modern history of the Craft . Our veteran friend was evidently imbued with the idea which , I am afraid , is far too common among aspirants for a participation in

the mysteries and privileges of Freemasonry , namely , that it is a passport , not only to social aggrandisement , but a stepping-stone to pecuniary gain . Consequently , I was pleased to observe that the friend to whom the

remark was addressed proved that he had learned the lesson of caution taught him in the earlier stages of his Masonic career , and very little information was vouchsafed his inquirer as to the paying attributes of

Freemasonry . This only shows how valuable are the precepts which actuate true Freemasons , for once admit of the poor principle suggested by the heading of this article , and away goes the very pith and marrow of the Order whose

purity and stability we all so much admire . At this moment the son made his appearance on the scene , and I was curious to hear what might ooze out with respect to the question of which I was itching to learn a little , but nothing further

turned upon Masonry . The son was , as his father had proudly described him , a smart-looking young fellow , and he immediately launched into business topics . " Do you know , father , Jack Smith , who has been with us some

time ? Well , I ' ve given him the sack . " " What for ?" asked the old man , in evident surprise . " Well , I wanted him to take some trestles up to Eoad , in readiness for that funeral to-morrow , and he refused , so I told him he

would not be wanted any more . " The old man , who listened to the story , replied , "It ' s not quite right , you know , Tom . Don't you think it would have been better to have offered him his tram-fare ? He would have

taken the trestles then . Now it will be more expensive to send them . " Perhaps he was thinking more of his own convenience than of the man who had thus been suddenly thrown out of employment . But though the man lived

that way , " he was not going to carry trestles ; ' to him it was infra dig . After the son had passed on , the old man whispered to his companion , " Silly follow ! I've paid that man two pun' eight this week for driving for me . "

The other inquired , " What ? do you pay your men so much as that ! " " Well , you see , I pays ' em so much a job , say four shillings each , and we had two every day , which makes up his two pun' eight . " " And good pay , too , "

rejoined his companion . " When he came to me he was only a gen'leraan's coachman out of place , and was fearfully hard up ; but when he earns money he always gets high and mighty , and proud . That ain't the way

to get on , Mister , is it , now ? You don't know what you may want to-morrow . " After this sage reflection there was a talk about wreaths , and the money that is wasted in the purchase of these so-called " tributes of affection , " on the

part of sorrowing relatives and friends . But there was a touch of human nature as the old fellow related an instance of a young married woman who had lost her husband , and whose funeral took place at the same hour as that of some

richer individual whose bier was " literally buried in dowers , " as the reporters say . As the embowered coffin was borne on in front a wreath fell accidentally from it , and our old friend , the " cockalorum , " who was

superintending both funerals , immediately snatched it up , and surreptitiously placed it on the more humble coffin as it came along in the rear , " She were very fond of ilowers , poor dear , " ho said , " and ' ow site did cry when she saw

me put that ' ere wreath on her poor dear husband ' s coffin , even tho' twer'nt mine to give . '" Aud here the old man took another nip , with proud satisfaction at having done a o-enerous , if not altogether an honest , action . It appears

that when remonstrated with by the parties to whom it belonged , he merely replied that he knevy it was wrong to take another person ' s property , and especially one who was dead , but he eonld ' v . t help it ) he harl ' nt tho heart tosee ono so well provided for , and tho other perfectly deficient

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